Get it while it's hot kiddies.

Searching for that special ringtone to let you know your boo is calling? Maybe you want to show your work buddies over at Chic Fil' A how hip to the music scene you are. Or possibly, you just want to unleash an electro dance party wherever and whenever your phone rings. You've come to the right place. All of my ringtones are free over at Myxertones. The Polish Ambassador loves you.

It's a sunny happy day in Hyrule. Link is out foraging for some nuts to bring back to Zelda. Then, as life would have it, Freddy Kruger leaps out of a bush and slices Link's head clean off. It's a devastating scene, and strangely Link bleeds purple. Being the good multi-dimension citizen I am, I wrapped Link's bludgeoned body up. Freddy and I took him to the local healer. Freddy was very apologetic during our walk, explaining that "sometimes he's just a little too hasty" and "he's still trying to find himself." I said, "It's cool, Freddy Kruger." After we patched Link up, we had some tea, talked out our differences, and then combined our powers to make this track. It's our gift to you.

It's important to stay mentally fit when embarking on cross-country treks. Thats why I dug up this old track from the Ambassador archives. If you or someone you know needs to buckle down, streamline their life, and sell everything they own on Craig’s List, all while taking it up approximately 4 notches, get busy with this track. It will work you like an Iron Chef works a knotty piece of Szechwan chicken. Gettin’ Things Done. Do it. Get 'em done.

For the past millennium, the Polish community has been struggling to find itself. The 1980’s were the peak of this feverous search. During that time, Carl Yaztrzemski was the name and face of that struggle. With a .285 batting average, Carl’s efforts greatly paralleled those of the Polish community, sometimes exceeding the standard of “mediocre at best,” sometimes not. As a high profile Polish representaive of today, I can only hope that I’m honoring Carl's efforts to solidify an identity for our people. This one's for you Carl.

For decades medical professionals have insisted that the fetus is unable to hear while living within the mother. Turns out they were wrong. From San Bernardino to Shangri La, all babies hear this song as they brace themselves for the outside world.

Perch are a fish ruled by community. They travel in groups but are very exclusive about the company they keep. For instance, if you were a perch and you had some odd coloring on your underbelly, you would immediately be ousted by the pack. No questions...except perhaps, "Should we eat him or just let him sulk to death?" Sadly, millions of years of trout conditioning would have it that the perch knows virtually nothing other than life within the colony. In fact, until stricken from the pack, the perch assumes that it is the pack, a sort of amorphous algae guzzling blob. Ha! Stupid perch. Anyways, I wrote this track to comfort isolated perch in his last days. Stay strong, little buddy.

Katie is my friend. Sometimes we ride bikes together, sometimes we dance together, snuggle, hottub, do lunch, and one time we made a song together. We are beings bound together by love. Love is free, and for that reason, this song is a free download. Katie wanted it that way. Me too. Love it, make love to it, share it, consume it, digest it, clean your cupboard to it, cross country ski to it. 

Every so often there comes a battle fought for reasons of...battle fighting, a test of strength showcased simply for the sake of spectacle. Through it, ideas are dismantled. Fears are shaken. Platitudes are stirred and sheer randomness guides life in a new direction. In today's contest, pop superstar Rihanna is pitted against indie electro entity, The Polish Ambassador; a virtual David and Goliath scenario. The ambassador strikes first, unleashing a sexy, electro, eighty's vibe so hot it scorches Rihanna's satin panties clean off. It's no doubt Rihanna is shaken. The ambassador establishes early on he is not to be taken lightly. Rihanna counters with a monstrous blow of her own, the smash hit vocals of her pop classic Please Don't Stop the Music. The battle continues, back and forth, back and forth. Polish and Rihanna tussle and tangle fusing together this track. By nightfall, there is only one clear winner. Yes, my darling.... It is you. Free download for all! You did it! Great job

With this remix, The Polish Ambassador is stepping straight into the hip hop game. Major player? Probably not. Keepin' that shit indie though with everyone's favorite Pharoahe. Pop this remix in when you're looking to bust out them stupid, ill dance moves, or when you're rollin' through the hood in you're daddy's Benzo. Yup.

So, here's the next remix. It's dreamy, epic, spacey and... Radiohead. Makes for quite a track. Pop this joint on when you're rising out of bed, falling asleep, cuddling with your boo, or making pupusas and chile con carne. Pass it around, leave a comment, and join the remix fun over at Facebook.

This was one of my favorite albums back in the day. And this is one of my favorite joints off of that album. I stripped the chorus out of it for the remix though and replaced it with some... Phil Collins vocals. No joke. If you don't like Phil Collins, you suck, and you can get off this website right now. Sucka. Yea, so share this joint with your friends. They'll dig it and they'll probably stop pinning you down and farting on your face now, just because you introduced them to TPA.
Werd.

Boom. Sloop John B remix. Who remixes the Beach Boys anyways? Polish, that's who, girl. This remix is dedicated to my 700th fan on Facebook. You know who you are. Hurray! It's pretty glitchy, but pretty awesome in an unconventional sort of way. It is Sloop John B remixed Electro afterall. You may never think of this song in the same way. Join the remix fun over at Facebook.

Here's the next episode in my quest for the golden fleece. It's originally by a little band called The Outfield. If you haven't heard the original, you're probably the bubble boy and you haven't left your container in the past 25 years. If you are the bubble boy, I'm sorry. Like most Genesis and Lionel Richie tracks, The song "Your Love" has gotten me through some tough times. Like that one time I was vacationing in Bangladesh and stumbled across a herd of 700 sheep whilst on a 75 kilometer hike through the Southern Himalayas. The sheep quickly took to me soon adopting me as one one their own. I lived among them for 3 years, grazing on the most delicious grass, romping about with the adolescent youth, and fending off mean wolves with a stick I found in the woods. Those were the best years of my life. Then my parents got worried and sent my uncle Mike to bring me home.

Here it is. Black Eyed Peas vs. Cutting Crew. Many of you may not even know of this BEP joint. It's off of their first album before they went pop-ish. The original is a pretty hot track. And of course you have Cutting Crew. "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight," nuff said. And best beleive, This ain't one of those corny mashups featuring the instrumental of one track mixed with a hip hop acapella. This is a full on remix. You might even hear a little Daft Punk and Celine Dion in there if you listen closely. Alright, enjoy.

It's time to give new life to an old classic. You know back in '02 when this joint got played on Hot 97, you closed all your car windows, blasted it through your Chevy Celebrity stock speakers and belted it out along with Usher. Was that just me? Doubtful. So, we sped things up. Some might even call this drum and bass, or more synth-pop-chiptune version of dnb, but drum and bass nonethtless. Enjoy. 

It's only natural that outkast get up in the remix action. These are some of the more innovative cats in the spotlight today, but you already know that. Always impressed with what they bring to the table, which is why they get "the royal treatment." That sounded sexual. Here's the remix of Wheels of Steel. Completley different from the original, cut, diced, electrofied. with some boomin' bass. Hells. Yes.

There's not enough cool songs being played at weddings that qualify as wedding songs...you know "appropriate for all ages, upbeat subject matter, epic sounding synths." Here's my crack at a remedy to that situation. What happens when you merge "You're the Inspiration" by
Chicago with some outerspace synth type shit? Maybe something like this. A perfect track to play during the birth of your newborn babe, a winning jam to bump when grandma asks you to dance at your cousin's wedding, a tasy groove to ring in Young Ismail's Bahmitzvah. Special thanks to Peter Cetera on this one. You are an inspiration to us all, and I ain't even playin. As always, join my facebook page to keep the remix fun alive.