An intelligent human sent me the link to sellaband.com, saying "Bet you could hit $50,000 with your loyal followers." At first I resisted even looking at the website because it sounded like some sort of scam, but upon further review, it seems like a pretty cool concept. Fans basically invest in an artist, but never really pay anything until the artist hits the $50,000 mark. From their website:
For the first time fans and Artists can be in business together. Therefore each Artist issues 5,000 so called Parts. Parts cost $10 (plus transaction costs) each. Together Believers have to raise $50,000 to get their Artist of choice in the studio. At any point before your Artist has reached the Goal of $50,000, you can withdraw your Parts and pick a different Artist. You can even get your money back. It's your music. It's your choice.
Then, as a listener you are able to make money off of the sales of the CD that you invested in. Since I produce all of my own music, I would use the money to lure Halls from Halls and Oates to be my vocalist.
I encourage all Ambassador fans to set up an account and buy a few shares of "Ambassador stock,"but first read more about the process before you do anything here. And to visit my page, go here. Leave comments. I'd like to hear what you think about this business model. Good? Bad?
It's a sunny happy day in Hyrule. Link is out foraging for some nuts to bring back to Zelda. Then, quicker than you can say, "Snickerdoodles," Freddy Kruger leaps out of a bush and slices Link's head clean off. It's a devastating scene, and strangely enough Link bleeds purple. Being the good multi-dimension citizen I am, I wrapped Link's bludgeoned body up and Freddy and I took him to the local healer. Freddy was very apologetic during our walk, explaining that "sometimes he's just a little too hasty" and "he's still trying to find himself." I said, "It's cool, Freddy Kruger." After we patched Link up, we had some tea, talked out our differences, and then combined our powers to make this track.
Help free The Phantasmal Farm. With every download The Farm grows stronger. This entire 40-minute album of electro, space-age, mutated, video-game anthems is ripe for your listening and available for purchase. Spread the word or else.
If there’s a pecking order on the phantasmal farm, and there certainly is, numero-uno is the Astrocan American. Well, the farm itself is a living being, but the farm requires the Astrocan Americans as much as Astrocan Americans require the farm.
Other than a few intelligent gases, they are the only free thinking entities to exist within the farm’s quad dimensional boundaries. Subsequently, they are the primary artists behind the farm’s unquestionable beauty. Their purpose is simply to create.
Much like myself, they are a very slender people, though their bodies are not shaped from the same amino proteins that humans need. They require a steady stream of ill beats to grow and evolve. This track here has nurtured them for generations and it will continue to do so. It is to them what fiber is to humans. It helps them poop.
Your friends are all barn animals. You, yourself, are a barn animal, one of many cattle to be precise. Tomorrow…you’ll be hamburger, so tonight is YOUR night. Goats, chickens, and hogs gather from the far reaches of old man McGukin’s 100 acre farm to salute you. It’s been a good run. Not a great run, but a good one. It’s time to tell that little heifer how you really feel. And go ahead, sample your own milk. Heck, why not take a victory lap around the barnyard with your homeboys. You deserve it. But remember noble one, in the coming weeks, your flanks will feed four families of four. Hold your head high my dear and enjoy the Barn Party.
At this stage of the game, very few individuals know of the Phantasmal Farm. It is time to change that, though information must be revealed gradually for reasons of your sanity. You see, this farm is a farm that exists only within the realm of information. You can’t Google maps it. You can’t arrange an eco-farm travel adventure for you and your family. You can’t sign up for the Phantasmal Farm CSA. Knowing the Phantasmal farm is like knowing your dreams, intimately. You might struggle mightily to understand it, you might not.
It is important to note here that I can never show you the barn door, I can only hold it open for you. You must find it for yourself. OK…since most of us here are newbies, I thought it would be best to start things off with a 360 degree view of the farm. Well, actually it is only a preview, so at this point its about 90 degrees or so. Anyways, hopefully this helps lube the rototiller.
Yet another interview has been published on the fabled Tunequest.org. I encourage all listeners and readers to delve into these glimmers of who the polish ambassador really is.
An excerpt, to tickle your taint.
Tunequest: Where can all the kids get their own Polish Ambassador Jumpsuit?
The Polish Ambassador: You must collect 10,000 proofs of purchase from Cap’n Crunch Crunchberry cereals(part of a complete breakfast), send them into General Mills, and then in 6 to 8 months you’ll get your very own one-size-fits-all Ambassador gear. Easy, right?
I have been interviewed by the highly-esteemed Carpal Tunnel Magazine. It’s fantabulous. Here is an excerpt to wet your whistle.
Carpal Tunnel Mag: Where are you from?
The Polish Ambassador: That’s too complicated to truly get into. I am a child of the heavens, half brother to the earth, bastard nephew to the winds of time, and a descendant of the cosmos. Actually, that wasn’t too complicated at all.
Read the rest of the interview here. Scroll down a little ways. Its the 4th interview. You’ll see my grille.
I asked Nick over at Tunequest.org for a few refferals of other blogs that would be interested in reviewing Diplomatic Immunity. He referred me to Jason over at Webomatica.com. So, out went a copy of Diplomatic Immunity and in comes another review. Jason posts multiple times daily and has quite a readership, so this review should help spread the word a bit. I’d encourage you to subscribe to his feeds. He’ll keep you abreast on latest internet services, everything Apple, favorite James Bond moments, and even a little Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica from time to time. Here’s the review. Stop everything you are doing and read it.
For those who are unaware, Trudybot and I are packing up and moving out. I just recently set our Space Escalade Eddie Bauer version on course for San Francisco. It takes a few days to automate a BMT (brake, mph and turn log)…
Anyways, its important to stay mentally fit when embarking on cross-country treks. Thats why I dug up this old track from the Ambassador archives. If you or someone you know needs to buckle down, streamline their life, and sell everything they own on Craig’s List, all while taking it up approximately 4 notches, get busy with this track. It will work you like an Iron Chef works a knotty piece of Szechwan chicken. Gettin’ Things Done.
Tunequest.org is another well
recognized music blog extending the far reaches of cyberspace. Headed
by Nick Freeman, a devotee to Star Trek, video games, technology,
robots, space travel, and internet trends, he falls directly into The
Polish Ambassador’s target market. I asked him to do a review, which he
gladly did and it is a great one. Here is an excerpt, but you should
most definitely check this one out, and also click through Nick’s site
quite a bit, Its bursting with content. Thanks Nick!
The influence of early game music and culture is unmistakable here, from sounds themselves (Infiltrating the U.N.
features a direct SFX sample) to the bit-mapped pixel art that adorns
the disc and jewel case. These instrumental tunes could almost be the
soundtrack to their own game, circa 1985.
I say almost because the passage of 20+ years means the The
Ambassador is not restricted to the meager capabilities of an ancient
game console. Where those compositions would end, Diplomatic Immunity
takes off, adding fantastic beat after fantastic beat. This stuff is so
groovy that each listen has the potential to kick-start the best damn
dance party this side of Canopus.
I don’t even know how I found out about this website, but it was
definitely stumbled upon. I think I was looking at Wordpress themes and
someone had designed a blog after the Humble Voice website theme, and
thus I was led to the community. Anyways, I’m glad I found it. The site
is an online community specifically targeting artists. From writers, to
musicians, to videographers, to graphic designers, to painters, to
photographers, all are welcomed and given the appropriate tools to
showcase their work. I normally don’t plug services unless they are of
value to me and the readers of this blog, so if you are any type of
artist, I’d recommend getting yourself an account. Its quick and
painless. You can check out mine here.
As of last night, the powers that be at Humble Voice featured The
Polish Ambassador on their homepage. I have already met a couple
graphic artists over there that are interested in doing some artwork
for future polish ambassador releases. Although traffic levels to my
website have not drastically increased, visitors from the Humble Voice
community are all artists that will potentially want to build with you,
which in my eyes is an invaluable resource. Thanks for the great
service, Humble Voice!
Hey folks, here’s another review of Diplomatic Immunity from yet
another talented blogger. Alex Jefferies writes the music blog Baile
Hasta Muerte. Oddly enough, he stumbled upon the music through finding
a ringtone. I am offering them online at Myxertones.
Being the forthright individual he is, Alex was compelled to purchase
the album and had some great things to say about it. Read the entire
review here. Thanks Alex!
Today is a glorious day my friends. I just got word that Diplomatic Immunity is now available for purchase on iTunes. The price is $.99 per track or $9.99 per album. While you won’t get the snazzy Hal Tucker artwork, you are supporting the environment in your purchase, and for that The Polish Ambassador loves you. You can actually buy the album digitally on this website as well, and it's cheaper ($7.99), but we at Jumpsuit Records understand some humans just prefer iTunes. Additionally, here is a link that will take you directly to the album download area, assuming you have iTunes on your computer. Go for it! Click the link below to buy Diplomatic Immunity on iTunes and be sure to leave a review.
Oliver Lopena has a way with words. He just posted a review of
Diplomatic Immunity on his music blog, which, I must say, is one of the
finer sites residing within the blogosphere. I started subscribing to
the feeds a couple weeks ago and have been thoroughly impressed. I
would recommend you do the same. Anyway, his review tickled me in the
appropriate places. Here is an excerpt.
“I won’t belabor you with a track-by-track review of Diplomatic Immunity
or detail The Polish Ambassador’s views on foreign policy, etc. Rather,
I’ll give you my overall impressions of the CD. The first thing I
noticed about The Polish Ambassador’s music is that he layers melodies
in an almost Pachelbel-esque manner (get ready for the Baroque
comparisons). The Polish Ambassador kicks it polyphonic and shuns
homophony like it’s a Belarusian-Polish diplomatic scandal. He employs
counterpoint like a masterful composer - this shit is complex. His
longer songs are like ambitious electronic concertos and consist of
multiple movements, all the while remaining cohesive (prime example - Robot Motivation). Canon in D? More like Canon in Dope!!!”
